2020: 10 things I am grateful for

Every year, normally in between Christmas and New Year I settle in to reflect on the year and think about what I am grateful for. It used to be a back of the notepad list and then over the last few years I have blogged about it. This year I don't think that period is going to be a time for quiet reflection. 

2020 has been a bit of a beast of a year for so many reasons, and the impact of this year will be felt in so many ways for years to come globally, domestically, in cities, communities and families. 

That said if we apply the principle that each day may not be good, but there are good things in every day to the year there is lots I am grateful for.  

So here is my top ten;

1. My gorgeous Mum and Dad: After Mum's diagnosis with late stage cancer in August, I have had the privilege of living with them both as we walk together writing Mum's final chapter. It hasn't always been easy emotionally or practically, but every single day they amaze and delight me. I am immensely grateful and privileged to have this time with them.

2. My lovely husband, Jonny, family and friends: there have been a few moments in my life when I can literally feel arms being wrapped around me, a hand on my back, folk right by my side and cheer-leading us on. I feel those enveloping arms and the cheer-leading and I am so thankful for it. 

3. Feeling joy: with Mum's illness this is a tough time and there is a long shadow of sadness, but each day I see, read or hear something and I feel joy and that is a privilege and......a joy. 

4. Work: I have loved my second year as CEO of MHFA England - what a community of change-makers who responded to the pandemic with verve and determination so our training could continue. I have loved my sixth and final year at Stonewall. What a team: it is exciting to see where Nancy and Sheldon lead us. I have been involved in and led some cracking bits of work, had brilliant conversations and probably self-disclosed too much about crisps and my love for Jake Shears and published Sisters and Brothers, curated with Julie Bentley.  

5. The vaccine scientists: imagine the brains, the determination, the commitment and the ability to do something that will start to restore a new way of life. I doff my cap. 

6. The American election results: I hope there are very obvious reasons why for America and the rest of the world right now, but more deeply for democracy, and the hope, progress and justice that goes hand in hand with a strong democracy. We are in a difficult time and the election results has to be a stabilising force.   

7. Dolly dog: normally I put Doll and Boris (previously Doll and Ren) into one, but Doll deserves her own headline this year. She has literally been by my side these last four months to listen, cuddle, cry, laugh and love. Irreplaceable.   

8. Boris (the horse): he turned out to be a bit of a project. When we got him home he wasn't quite the steady, sensible horse Tor and I thought we had bought. He has pushed and stretched us, challenged my confidence a couple of times and claimed my heart. I am grateful to Hugo and Katherine Payne who had him over the winter and helped get his brain and body in gear, and me able to ride Boris more effectively. I am grateful that we had a small window where we were able to compete and did our first one day event together. The adrenaline in the cross country start box cannot be beaten. Whilst I will never achieve the dreams I had as a child, I am grateful that as I hurtle towards fifty I still get the same buzz from horses as I did when I first sat on Toby, the Shetland pony circa 1978. 

9. Courage, tenacity and leadership - I am going to ignore the poor leadership, this is a gratitude blog after all. Time to shine a light on the courage, tenacity and leadership of people in the third sector, NHS, social care and beyond who have been working night and day with creativity and verve to ensure that support and services - whether that be hospital wards, youth groups, food banks or social care - are there when people need them in challenging times. From clinicians to front line workers to Chief Execs to volunteers, a shed load of people have given tirelessly to support communities and we all owe them a debt of gratitude. I am particularly grateful to colleagues and friends across the Mental Health and wider social sectors for their friendship, collaboration, counsel, sense of fun and determination. 

10. Health: I have made another year around the sun. When someone you love dies early it can make you aware of your own mortality. When Andrew died at 45 I became aware of mine and when I reached 46 I realised I had been holding my breath a while. Now I am almost 47 and I hear people around me worrying about the signs of getting old: the wrinkles, the grey hair, or the hairy ears. Ageing is a privilege. And in a year when we have seen so many lives lost being in good health is the most precious thing.

A year that will be remembered.