Simon Blake

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Polly Neate guest blogs on being inclusive and using our power and privilege in pursuit of racial justice

February 26, 2021

This is a guest blog from Polly Neate who is Chief Executive of Shelter Those of us in leadership roles in civil society, who strive for change and stand for social justice, found our lack of action to tackle structural racism exposed and rightly scrutinised in the wake of the Black Lives Matter protests of 2020. For years, we could and should have been doing more. Alongside others leading civil society organisations, I’m writing this blog following many conversations about racial justice since then. Loose collections of us have come together in various ways to discuss, share and learn together. We have been taking a long hard look at ourselves, our organisations, our sector and the power and responsibility we can use to address systemic racism within the various different roles we hold. Our conversations have centred on a determination to understand the everyday impact of structural racism wherever and however it manifests itself, and to get better at disrupting the status quo,

Cheers to my darling Mum!

January 01, 2021

My darling Mum died peacefully at home yesterday (New Years Eve) at about 6am. It wasn't quite how I had imagined it. Dad and I were asleep, Dad in the same room as Mum, me less than 3 metres away and I heard a gentle knock on the door. Alison from Marie Curie had been with us a few nights before and I knew she only knocked if there was something wrong. I also knew from the gentleness of this knock that she was going to tell me Mum had died. Those dreaded words we knew were coming but never wanted to hear. Alison had woken me so I could tell Dad. Dad's first reaction through howls of pain was exactly the same as my quiet thought had been. 'I wasn't there. I wanted to be there, I should have been there'. He was there. He was in bed right next to her but we weren't awake and holding her hand. Truth is we had started the day time vigil but we didn't think she was going to die that quickly. And we were both knackered. We had been awake for over 48 hours beca

2020: 10 things I am grateful for

December 18, 2020

Every year, normally in between Christmas and New Year I settle in to reflect on the year and think about what I am grateful for. It used to be a back of the notepad list and then over the last few years I have blogged about it. This year I don't think that period is going to be a time for quiet reflection. 2020 has been a bit of a beast of a year for so many reasons, and the impact of this year will be felt in so many ways for years to come globally, domestically, in cities, communities and families. That said if we apply the principle that each day may not be good, but there are good things in every day to the year there is lots I am grateful for. So here is my top ten; 1. My gorgeous Mum and Dad: After Mum's diagnosis with late stage cancer in August, I have had the privilege of living with them both as we walk together writing Mum's final chapter. It hasn't always been easy emotionally or practically, but every single day they amaze and delight me. I am immense

The best of times and the worst of times

December 13, 2020

Very soon after I found out Mum was dying a colleague and friend wrote me a letter about their own experience of a parent dying and what they had learned from their experience. I was grateful when I got that letter through the post. So much wisdom. And I read it often. When children are born we know what to do. When people die we know we have to register the death and have a funeral. As a society we know a bit about grief and bereavement even though we can get much better at talking about it and supporting people through it. We talk less about the process of dying. There is still, it seems, a worry that if we talk about what is happening we make it happen, which is poppycock of course. If we talk about death and dying we pass on the knowledge, we learn from the person dying and we can gain great comfort which will help us through the grieving process. I have learned that having conversations about dying do not necessarily get easier, but the more we do it the easier it becomes to hav

Proud to launch Sisters and brothers: stories about the death of a sibling

December 02, 2020

In the summer of 2019 Julie and I went for supper on the South Bank (remember those lovely times we could be together!). Julie's brother Roy had died a few months earlier. That night talked hard about our experiences of our brothers dying. A month or so later I was on holiday at a health retreat. It was a place I have been to several times, and had been there shortly after my brother Andrew had died on what would have been his 46th birthday. Consequently Andrew is always on mind whenever we go back there. At MHFA England we were working with an innovation consultant Alex Pellew, and his book The Idea in You was a holiday read (I recommend it) . The overwhelming message I took from the book 'if you have an idea and you feel it, go for it and don't delay'. As I read the The Idea in You I knew I wanted to use my experience of my brother dying to help others. I had felt very alone when Andrew had died and in my usual way I had tried to find things to read and watch and

Facing into dying - feeling the sadness and the joy

November 21, 2020

It is over three months since Mum's diagnosis of late stage cancer. Three months since our lives changed and we started adapting to a new version of reality. The words have perhaps not quite yet sunk in, but whether they have sunk in or not, the truth is there in our day to day lives. Mum is dying and the best clinical prediction at the time of diagnosis is that she had 'months rather than years' to live. Three of those months gone already. As Doctor Kathryn Mannix says in this brilliant short video https://www.bbc.co.uk/ideas/videos/dying-is-not-as-bad-as-you-think/p062m0xt 'we have stopped talking about dying and that is in fact a problem'. That is why I am writing this blog. W e have to talk about death and dying so we can take better care of the dying person, help them prepare for their death and ensure their wishes are heard and taken care of; so we can take better care of each other through the process of a loved one dying and prepare ourselves better f

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